Talking about suicide is never easy, family, friends and loved ones are torn apart, often with eternal questions about the reasons why it was decided to end life, the possible responsibility of someone and even blame them for not realizing it in time. This scenario becomes even more complex and painful when we refer to a young man "with all life ahead of him", someone who should have every desire to live, with a promising future in the distance, which makes it even more difficult to face the painful fact of losing a loved one and the misunderstanding of why our loved one made that decision.

Despite this difficult picture, the most important aspect is to emphasize suicide prevention, especially in adolescents, since they are a major risk group. This, because of the current social conditions, peer group pressure, social networks, physical and emotional violence scenarios of the present moment and spiritual tests that are assumed during incarnation. So that through early detection of warning signs and integration of a spiritual life, suicide can be prevented by helping to find the balance between worldly and spiritual life, Giving meaning to the trials of this incarnation and learning from the difficulty; which will not only help the teenager to get strengthened but will allow him to evolve in his spiritual path.

Afflictions in the present life

"The vicissitudes of life are of two kinds, or if you like, they have two very different origins that it is worth distinguishing: some have their cause in the present life and others outside it."

Through the enormous and valuable knowledge of the spiritist doctrine it has been possible to understand that each of the situations we live during our incarnation has been planned by ourselves with the sole purpose of helping us to grow spiritually, to show us the enormous variety of emotions and situations that will allow us to become more conscious beings and align with love. However, the trials of life sometimes seem insurmountable, a nightmare from which it is impossible to escape, generating fear, pain, feeling of emptiness, failing to have motivation, expectations, hopes and, in the worst case, the only interest that you have is to seek to escape, at any cost, death being the only alternative that seems to exist to "stop suffering".

But what happens when the stage is not so aggressive? When life "goes" in calm, with small obstacles that are easily manageable? In these cases, the explanation that the law of reincarnation provides us is an ally to understand and address this issue, in which it details that in previous incarnations we have been involved in "debts" prior to the present life, or to consequences arising in this very life. So that the suffering of spirits, as adolescents or children, are often the product of experiences from previous existences.

Understanding the law of reincarnation motivates us not to sit back and let situations follow the course of the psychological immaturity of these spirits in developing ages. On the contrary, we must put in place all the measures and tools necessary to support adolescents in the situations that affect them most and in which they are most vulnerable, supporting them to develop an introspective and self-critical sense based on self-love and love of others, generating skills that lead them to resilience, self-confidence and faith; elements that will undoubtedly be pillars in every test presented in the incarnation.

What can motivate suicide in childhood or adolescence?

Identifying what triggers a person’s lack of desire to live is very complex, since each personality, circumstance, social and economic condition are completely different in each individual. Despite this, there are authors who have made efforts to try to identify "key" factors that can trigger suicidal ideas. For example, Dr. A Águila (2012) talks about the child population and suicide, where the highest percentage of children at risk of suicide were found two conditions: "The first is that the largest percentage of children had a high level of fantasy and low tolerance for frustration," and adds, "their perception of reality was never ascertained with what was actually real," "acted accordingly with suicidal ideas or attempts to avoid something more catastrophic for them." Other factors that the author comments on are impulsiveness, ambivalence and rigidity.

At the same time, there are situations of vital importance when talking about suicide, it is the ill-treatment, especially emotional and psychological, by primary caregivers, that is to say, parents, grandparents and close family. In these cases, excessive punishment, placing excessive responsibilities for the age of the child or adolescent, isolation, disqualification and a climate of daily violence between parents are all risk factors for encouraging suicidal ideas.

This means that bulling must be understood from two sides: the aggressor or bully and the assaulted bulling.

Identify signs of suicide

However, in order to act in a timely manner it is essential to identify the signals that tell us that the adolescent is at risk. Situation that can be extremely complex, since as we know adolescence is a stage in which self-affirmation is sought by breaking with learned patterns, and therefore, it is common for adolescents to move away from authority figures such as parents, teachers and guardians

Behaviors such as the search for "solo" spaces and independent activities by the family are "our bread" when you have a teenager at home. Even so, there are certain guidelines that can help us through this moment.

Analysing the environment in which adolescents develop is key to prevention, since once the "triggers" are identified (usually more than one) it is possible to intervene and mediate in the situation.

Initially, it would be necessary to evaluate the topics of family dynamics, communication with siblings and parents, the presence of an authority figure with whom there is communication and who can be the "support point" of the adolescent in difficult moments. The presence of conflict, physical, economic, psychological or sexual violence with clarity may cause the adolescent to feel that he is "alone".

The relationship with the peer group is equally important, since friends and school colleagues are "vital" in the adolescent stage as they represent the reference group for the formation of personality, habits, tastes and customs.

Bulling and suicide in adolescence:

Parents and families should be aware of forms of bulling, because the more we have knowledge of situations where these behaviors are encouraged, there will be greater opportunities to avoid or stop them before they reach unfortunate consequences.

There is the cyberbulling that consists of aggression and the improper use of social networks, internet telephony, etc. Sexting, which manifests its aggression through photographs and videos of private and intimate situations that are made public without the consent of the person or persons. Homophobia which is discrimination against persons with a gender identity or sexual orientation other than heterosexual. Racist harassment, in this situation the aggression is directed at ethnic or social minorities.

How to detect a teenager who is experiencing situations of violence?

In the bulling suffers behaviors as well as mood become irritable, tense, strange, sad,... he isolates himself, becomes scared, forgetful, can stop relating to his friends, evades meetings and parties, pretends to be sick, has a lost look and begins to spend much time alone, It is therefore essential that parents should be aware of any of these signs.

In addition to this, there are other social, economic and social circumstances that can be so aggressive and generate a high level of stress, which are also factors that may contribute to the presence of suicidal ideas, Situations such as living in war or conflict zones, with obvious violence, losing parents or close loved ones, not meeting basic needs including shelter, clothing and livelihood are examples of these factors.

In all these circumstances it is essential to maintain close and close contact with the adolescent, as much as this allows us, and seek specialized help for any sign of the above. It is worth keeping in mind that listening to the small signs can make a difference when we talk about avoiding suicide.

Spirituality as a resource

De Cerqueira A. (2011) "Anyone who commits suicide, at least most of them, commits suicide to escape the pain of a situation".

Remember that the teenager did not "appear" from one day to another in our lives, on the contrary, the ties and relationships that are worked during childhood will be key in the life personality of each individual, so maintain a close relationship, Caring, as far as the adolescent allows, and sincere, generate an environment where the adolescent will know that in any eventuality of life can come to us.

Fostering the spiritual aspect will also be key for difficult times, not only in adolescence, but throughout existence, because as we have experienced it firsthand, there are situations outside of us, Life tests from which it will be impossible to isolate and which will require internal force. When a human being maintains the awareness that there is an education in each of the situations, including in the difficult and challenging moments of life, the test is assumed with other eyes, with the perception that besides the pain "there is something else" making attention, the energy and consciousness to identify what it is that has to be learned from the test, which in no way eliminates the pain, but makes it more manageable, understanding that there is a greater reason for going through that moment.

In the case of adolescents, even if they are at a stage of absolute rebellion, and this cut with previous teachings leads to doubts and questions about the spiritual bases learned in childhood, it is very common that they seek to "challenge" The lessons learned by testing them in difficult times.

Just at this time, the traditional teachings of rigid doctrines with figures of "gods" that punish or approve the behavior of the incarnate will be strongly criticized, The young people’s judgement is often misjudged, and they are frequently abandoned and cut off from these currents.

In the case of adolescents who were motivated to develop their spiritual part, where a spiritual doctrine mediated by awards and punishments was not encouraged, but motivated to reflect on spiritual evolution, where the incarnation has been planned for the soul’s own development, it will be questioned as every aspect of life, but it will have a greater chance to help in difficult moments, to shelter in dark moments, and to help see the light in the darkness.

By testing it, the adolescent will have additional tools to face the difficult situations of the world, will encourage their reflection and personal evolution. Additionally, as committed parents, the adults we are sharing the path with this teenager would also be committed to review the why of the test, maintaining a loving, observant attitude of needs, both the physical world and emotional and spiritual, identifying situations that are out of our reach and seeking support in each of the aspects where I perceive and understand that "my" teenager requires support, Draining resources to help them on their path of personal development.